Dictate Your Own Fate

12 03 2012

Liz Gilchrist

When I read Jessica’s post about believing in yourself, it got me thinking more intensely about self-talk and the “so called” truths we tend to tell ourselves.

Did you ever notice there are days when you wake and a little voice in your head starts saying, “Today is not a good day?” And then those very days seem to be the ones that result in spilled coffee, issues at work, burning dinner and arguments with loved ones. Have you ever considered that it may not be the spilled coffee or burnt dinner? It may be the little voice in your head that has the power.

So, what does this mean? It means you can be both your problem AND your solution. NOTHING has the power to literally open up your skull and press an angry or bad button in your brain. It is you that holds the power. The power of positive self talk works like a muscle. If you haven’t been using it, it will take some time to strengthen it.

I like to think of it this way. When you have spent days, months, years or your entire life telling yourself you “shouldn’t” do something, you’re going to fail at a task, you’re not capable of success, or even that you can’t and don’t deserve it, those thoughts become beliefs. Now imagine you are standing at the edge of a wooded area and you have to create a new path. Telling yourself something different works the same way. It may be hard and you will have to practice, but eventually there will be a new, more positive path.

I wanted to share with participants a tool you can use, that has become part of my daily life. It WORKS if you WORK it and puts you in CONTROL. To briefly educate: Your thoughts cause your feelings, which cause your behavior. If you say to yourself, “I can’t,” you will in turn feel bad, which leads to not following through with your plan to be successful.

However, if you tell yourself something POSITIVE and more THRUTHFUL, it can make all the difference. The reality is that things are going to be difficult sometimes. Does that mean you can’t do them? No. It simply means it may hard. So, if you change the thought to something more truthful like, “This may be hard, but I will try.” You will in turn feel better about the situation and put more effort into being successful. And you deserve to feel good about the choices you are making.

The most useful advice I can give would be to think about what you are saying to yourself when you feel bad. Are the thoughts kind? Are they helpful? Are they true? Would I say them to my best friend? If the answer is no, you then have a choice to tell yourself something different and likely more truthful.

Tomorrow when you wake, my challenge for you is to ask yourself, “Will the day determine my thoughts and actions, or will I determine my day?” Remember, you are the SOLUTION and deserve to be best friends with the little voice in your head.

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