Dealing with Judgment

30 09 2014

When it comes to weight management, there are many underlying emotional factors that can affect progregavel imagess. Feeling judged, or fear of the possibility of being judged, can stand in the way and significantly limit your potential. The question of “what do others think of me? What do they think of my appearance, my efforts, my success or failure?” can cause undue stress and make the hills you are trying to climb toward your goal(s) seem to grow into mountains.

The fears that we have…fear of weakness and vulnerability, fear of being ostracized because we are breaking the mold we are expected to fit into, fear of failure…all of these hold us back from being happy and complete beings. Occasionally the resulting judgment of these fears can motivate us to strive a bit harder to reach our goals, but more often, the judgment and resulting negative emotions drag us down.

judgment quote images 2Releasing the power of judgment can have such a freeing effect. But, as with many things, this is easier said than done, so it will require a bit of work on your part. How can you take back the control you have given others who choose to judge you? Let’s consider these points:

  1. Consider the fact that the only person who knows the absolute truth about you is YOU. Your motivations for making a life change, your reasons for behaving a certain way or exhibiting particular emotions…when it comes to these factors, yours is the only opinion that truly matters.
  2. Understand the difference between perception and reality. Perception is your mental impression, or how you interpret or understand something. Reality is the state of things as they actually exist. These two can get clouded and confused easily when subjective elements such as emotions are involved. Keeping ahold of the facts and staying grounded as much as possible can help make reality a bit clearer.
  3. If the judgment or variable in question is, in fact, part of your reality, how much effect does it actually have on your state of being? Rate it on a scale of 0-10…0 meaning it has no impact on your life, 10 implying that it is absolutely life-changing. Judgment will likely fall closer to 0 if you allow yourself to look at the situation objectively.
  4. Find things you enjoy and activities you have been successful with and use them to fall back on to increase confidence and boost self-esteem. Whether it is solving a Rubik’s Cube in record time or hitting the bull’s eye on the dart board, being successful always feels good and has a way of booting our overall sense of well-being.
  5. Put it in writing. What went right today, this week, this month? We so often focus on the negatives that the positives do not get their well-deserved moments in the spot light. Write down what went RIGHT lately…it may just give you the dose of reality you need to overcome the negativity of judgment.judgment-quotes-4
  6. Finally, try and keep in mind that those who criticize others are likely insecure themselves. I know that sounds very sophomoric, but let’s think of it this way. Other than those in your life that truly care about you, why else would anyone be truly invested in your state of being? Perhaps making you feel “less-than” gives them a boost…sad but true. But you do not have time for petty, small-minded behavior…you have a goal to reach!

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by Stephanie R. McWilliams, Health Behavior Coach




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